I Don’t Know What To Tell You: Grief Week 3

I said in week one that the profound absence of my late husband felt like a lost limb–a phantom pain that was hard to explain at the time. The pain in the first few weeks and months is constantly exposed and magnified by every day actions. Things as simple as going to the bathroom, taking […]

I don’t know what to tell you: Grief week 2

My experience: I remember reading, in my quest to figure out my own grief, that you could cut your crying in half if you just set the goal to give yourself some set amount of time to cry. I found this concept very strange at the time. I remember being at my desk about three […]

I don’t know what to tell you: week 1 of GRIEF

It’s very hard to write about grief while in the midst of it. C.S. Lewis wrote his book on grief–A Grief Observed–while going through the process. He was a well established author by then, and there could be no other way to work it out for him. Joan Didon was also an established writer of […]

Grief: Type 4

The last person you expect to meet could be the person you become as a griever: The Bulldozer. One thing I believe that all grievers have in common is the desire for the pain of grief to end. Sometimes that means they wish it backwards by dwelling in the past and other times they wish […]

Type 3: The Critic

In the previous blog post, I talked about 2 of the 4 types of people that Grieving persons will encounter during their journey on the road to recovery. You can find that article HERE. This week, we’ll talk about one of the last two types of people you will meet as a person who is […]

2 of the 4 Types of People Grievers Meet

There are 4 types of people you will encounter as someone who is grieving: The Empath The Telepath The Critic The Bulldozer In this post, we are going to cover the first two. The last two will come in following posts. THE EMPATH There will be those who understand completely what you are […]

Grief: Survivors Guilt

“If I die,” Sam told me from his hospital bed, “I want you to be okay.” “You’re not going to die.” I told him. Though he probably couldn’t hear me, even with his CI (Cochlear Implant) on. It was always hard for him to hear when he was distracted, and he was very distracted at […]

Grief: Degrees of Grief

Before you start reading this particular blog post, maybe you’d like to read the real time experience of my grief at: http://www.adeafinthefamily.com . At that site, both Sam and I wrote blog posts. It was OUR site. It was about OUR life. When he died, I started to write letters to him there, experimented with […]

Is this what grief does to you?

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

I promise (my new dedication page in the Mars Anthology)

I found a copy of Sam’s vows to me when I was going through my manuscripts for Mars. I don’t believe it was a coincidence. I believe his hand was in that. Here are his vows: I, Sam, want you, Noelle To be my wife, To have and to hold From this day forward; For […]