I don’t know what to tell you: grief week 16

Can you be addicted to a person?

In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) they have a twelve-step program in which members admit that they are powerless over alcohol and need help from a “higher power”.

Can you be powerless over a person? Certainly as an adult with another adult that is possible, but do you need help from a higher power to avoid them? I dunno… maybe.

Members of AA are encouraged to find an experienced fellow alcoholic, called a sponsor, to help them understand and follow the AA program. Is that what I need? I need a fellow widow who has “recovered” to help me understand and recover from my own widowhood and help me from binge grieving?

So far, I haven’t found anyone who has actually “recovered” from grieving.  I’ve only found people who are either exactly where I am or worse off.

When I first started going back out socially, one of the first people I met was a widow who was still sleeping on the couch 6 years later because she couldn’t stand to be in “their” bed. It’s only been 6 years since Sam died and I’ve been remarried 4 of those 6 years. Does that mean I am recovered?

I don’t feel recovered.

I still struggle with my new husband hoping or wishing he were more like Sam.

I can’t seem to overcome some expectations. When it comes to the basics, I shouldn’t. I definitely should expect new hubby to be a good husband in many of the same ways. Communicating, kindness, and affection are, at the very least, perceived by me as feeling the same even if they are relayed differently. Certainly communication with someone fully hearing should be easier, right?

Maybe not.

If Sam is my alcohol then my new hubby must be the virgin drink.

You wouldn’t expect a shirley temple to make you drunk. It wouldn’t send you into relapse. But it might make you miss champagne.


I guess I still don’t know what to tell you, but if you are in the mood for something interesting, please visit my store: www.2ndlifedolls.com